Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Never Wanna Say Goodbye!

......No literally I can't!

So it appears that in our finally week, when all the catch ups and dinners are in full swing, I have completely lost my voice; barely managing a whisper. If the universe could not provide me with a clearer message to shut up and just listen this one I'm not sure what it could be! So listen I will! I once heard a Buddhist monk say we have 2 eyes for seeing, 2 ears for listening & 1 mouth for speaking and we should use them in that proportion! So listen & see more, whilst speaking less (or was that my yoga teacher- they were very wise anyway).

I'm not particularly good at saying goodbye. Moving away seems surreal. I feel this disconnect with reality and it is only when I get to the part where I actually have to say goodbye to someone that I have a moment of clarity. Then my usual awkwardness kicks in, I crack an inappropriate joke and the moment is diminished. I've never been one for fuss but as the days tick down I realise that Nathan & I aren't the only ones experiencing this transition. Our friends & family are going through their own goodbyes as well. I've noticed this as I'm getting more visits, more hugs and my dad is being super helpful!

With all the goodbyes and packing I have been reflecting. Previous experience tells me that a lot of my life back in Brisbane will remain the same but there are components that will continue to move; grow with or without us.

The most significant thing that I will miss here is watching my friends and sisters as they go through motherhood. Over the past few years there has been a baby explosion around me. No longer are our nights filled with boozy nights and gratification replaced with crying babies and nappies. We have replaced these indulgences with healthier habits, such as walks in the park and coffee. It's been lovely to witness their metamorphosis into their own beautifully unique manifestation of motherhood. I'm blessed to be a part of it, spending time with them all. I am glad that I am grounded enough to appreciate it and hopefully I have grown with them too! And let's face it- my liver and bank balance thanks them too!

I must mention the other man in my life, Jackson. He is my four year old nephew, an inquisitive little thing. All the other babies will still be young when we return but Jackson has already clued up with what is going on. My nephew has become a little person who can hold a conversation and experience emotions. He is at the WHY? stage. I want to teach all my kids about adventure and living out your dreams. I am concerned that the connection we have will be broken- I've only just got him talking to me on the phone. So we have been practicing Skyping (is that even a verb?), talking about going away and different countries and he always receives postcards when we travel. So although I won't be in Australia I am hoping time goes quickly and he doesn't forget us.

So this is a quick note to say goodbye! There are sooo many things I will miss about Brisbane but I know that some of these will be substituted for small pleasures and a simpler life in Palau.
 “Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

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